For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. - Ephesians 5:31-32
Good morning. Last Sunday we talked about the sin of sexual immorality and the proper use of our bodies to glorify God. In that sermon, Paul briefly pointed out the broad implications of “two people becoming one flesh”. In this week’s passage he logically transitions into a much fuller discussion about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. All of chapter 7 is devoted to these topics. However, we will not be able to complete the entire chapter today. Therefore, this morning’s message will be “Part 1” and next Sunday’s will be “Part 2”.
I. SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)
Apparently the Corinthians had sent a letter to Paul that included several questions about marital issues. As he began to address these questions, he began by stating that it is good for a man not to touch a woman. In other words, it is a wonderful thing for a person to master their physical desires, remain unmarried, and live a life of celibacy. It is not a sin and should not be considered a stigma for a person to be single. However, this is simply not the case for most people. In order to avoid sexual immorality, a man and woman should marry and maintain an exclusive sexual relationship with each other.
Within the context of the marriage, both husband and wife should recognize that their bodies belong to one another. Remember, they are “one flesh”, and therefore neither has the absolute right to demand or deny sex from the other. Spouses should openly, honestly communicate and lovingly compromise with each other in order to develop and maintain a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. The particulars of this arrangement will vary from marriage to marriage.
Husbands and wives should not use sex as a weapon against one another. They should not deprive each other of physical intimacy, except as mutually agreed upon for a brief season of prayer. If the physical relationship in a marriage is unhealthy or unsatisfying, the husband, wife, or possibly both partners will be tempted to look elsewhere. Marital infidelity has resulted in an untold number of divorces and broken homes. A fulfilling sexual relationship is a critical component of every godly marriage.
Again Paul wished that all people had the ability and self-control to remain single or unmarried. Nevertheless, he acknowledged that not everyone does. Paul described marriage as a gift from God given to those for whom it was intended. He did not disparage the institution of marriage. Some Bible scholars even believe that Paul himself was a widower.
II. CANDIDATES FOR MARRIAGE (1 Corinthians 7:8-11, 39-40)
Yet again, Paul stated his deeply held conviction that it was good for those who were unmarried or who were widowed (that is, their spouse had died) to remain single. If you read this entire section of verses as well as other similar passages, it becomes clear that “unmarried” in this instance refers only to those who have never been married. He then conceded that it would be better for them to marry or remarry than to burn with passion. Thus, Paul clearly indicated that those who have never married are free to marry and those who are widowed are free to remarry.
At the end of this chapter, Paul addressed widows and widowers specifically. He stated that a wife is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. She may only remarry after he dies, and even then only to a Christian man. This same standard also applies to husbands. In other words, divorce does not negate a marriage in God’s eyes. What God has joined together cannot truly be separated or undone by man. The Bible teaches that marriage is for life, and it only ends when a spouse dies. Paul added that, in his godly and respected opinion, a widowed person would be happier if they chose to remain unmarried.
Paul taught that, in accordance with God’s instruction, husbands and wives should make every attempt to stay married. The Bible clearly states that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and Scripture strongly discourages it. That said, God did give provisions that allowed for divorce in certain circumstances - not because He endorsed it, but rather because of the hardness of the human heart. Thus, it is not necessarily a sin to get a divorce, especially in serious instances such as marital infidelity or an abusive relationship. Nevertheless, Paul explained that if a person does get divorced they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse.
The overwhelming majority of passages on this issue echo exactly what Paul taught here - that remarriage, under any circumstances other than the death of the husband or wife, is an act of adultery for both parties involved. This is clearly and unambiguously confirmed in Matthew 5:32b, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, and Romans 7:2-3.
It must be noted that there is a single verse of Scripture, Matthew 19:9, that seems to suggest an exception to this rule. This verse is an outlier. It states that, “whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Many interpret this to mean that if either spouse is unfaithful, the faithful spouse is free to divorce them and remarry someone else without committing sin. However, if this is true, then all of the other previously mentioned passages on this topic are misleading and incomplete. In my opinion, based upon much study, the correct interpretation of Matthew 19:9 is that if a person is in an immoral marriage - such as a polygamous, incestuous, homosexual, or otherwise biblically illegitimate marriage - they are free to divorce and remarry. This interpretation completely reconciles with all of the other passages on this topic, it follows the sound rules of hermeneutics, and it allows for a person to free themselves from a sinful relationship and try again without committing additional sin themselves. I will be the first to acknowledge that not everyone agrees with me on this issue.
III. UNBELIEVING SPOUSES (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)
Unlike the verses that immediately preceded these, which were directions given by the LORD, Paul introduced this paragraph by indicating that this section reflected his opinion. He urged any Christians who were married to non-Christian spouses to remain with them as long as they consented to stay together. He explained that the non-believing spouse is sanctified (at least to a degree) by the believing spouse. This is especially important if the couple has children. Perhaps the presence and witness of the Christian will lead their unsaved spouse and/or children to the LORD.
That said, Paul reasoned that if the non-believing spouse was to leave the relationship, the Christian spouse was under no obligation to seek reconciliation. In such a case, divorce would be acceptable. Even still, this does not give either divorcee the grounds to remarry. No such statement is made or implied in this passage at all.
CONCLUSION
Though we’ve touched on several topics today, such as the importance of a healthy sex life within a marriage and the positive effects of a believing spouse on a non-believing spouse and their children in a marriage, I suspect that our discussion of divorce and remarriage is what stands out in your mind. This topic can be quite controversial. So as we close, I want to be clear on my interpretation of Scripture. Let me state that my stance is not mine alone, but is shared by many other Christians - albeit probably not the majority.
To be frank, I am uncomfortable with any person who has been divorced remarrying another person while their first spouse is still living. While I wouldn’t publicly condemn someone for doing so, nevertheless I can’t completely dismiss the possibility that such a marriage is sinful. Because of my uncertainty, I have made the personal choice as a pastor not to conduct wedding ceremonies so as to avoid this scenario. It is not my intention to alienate divorced people, especially fellow Christians, yet I will not deny my sincerely held convictions.
If you are listening to the message today and you have divorced and remarried, please don’t hate me. I don’t hate you. We can agree to disagree on this issue. Unlike most other issues, which are plainly black or white, there is some level of ambiguity here. We can still be friends, hang out, maintain fellowship, and worship together. All I ask is that we appreciate and respect one another’s perspective. Who knows, I could be wrong? Wouldn’t be the first time…
Good morning. Last Sunday we talked about the sin of sexual immorality and the proper use of our bodies to glorify God. In that sermon, Paul briefly pointed out the broad implications of “two people becoming one flesh”. In this week’s passage he logically transitions into a much fuller discussion about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. All of chapter 7 is devoted to these topics. However, we will not be able to complete the entire chapter today. Therefore, this morning’s message will be “Part 1” and next Sunday’s will be “Part 2”.
I. SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE (1 Corinthians 7:1-7)
Apparently the Corinthians had sent a letter to Paul that included several questions about marital issues. As he began to address these questions, he began by stating that it is good for a man not to touch a woman. In other words, it is a wonderful thing for a person to master their physical desires, remain unmarried, and live a life of celibacy. It is not a sin and should not be considered a stigma for a person to be single. However, this is simply not the case for most people. In order to avoid sexual immorality, a man and woman should marry and maintain an exclusive sexual relationship with each other.
Within the context of the marriage, both husband and wife should recognize that their bodies belong to one another. Remember, they are “one flesh”, and therefore neither has the absolute right to demand or deny sex from the other. Spouses should openly, honestly communicate and lovingly compromise with each other in order to develop and maintain a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. The particulars of this arrangement will vary from marriage to marriage.
Husbands and wives should not use sex as a weapon against one another. They should not deprive each other of physical intimacy, except as mutually agreed upon for a brief season of prayer. If the physical relationship in a marriage is unhealthy or unsatisfying, the husband, wife, or possibly both partners will be tempted to look elsewhere. Marital infidelity has resulted in an untold number of divorces and broken homes. A fulfilling sexual relationship is a critical component of every godly marriage.
Again Paul wished that all people had the ability and self-control to remain single or unmarried. Nevertheless, he acknowledged that not everyone does. Paul described marriage as a gift from God given to those for whom it was intended. He did not disparage the institution of marriage. Some Bible scholars even believe that Paul himself was a widower.
II. CANDIDATES FOR MARRIAGE (1 Corinthians 7:8-11, 39-40)
Yet again, Paul stated his deeply held conviction that it was good for those who were unmarried or who were widowed (that is, their spouse had died) to remain single. If you read this entire section of verses as well as other similar passages, it becomes clear that “unmarried” in this instance refers only to those who have never been married. He then conceded that it would be better for them to marry or remarry than to burn with passion. Thus, Paul clearly indicated that those who have never married are free to marry and those who are widowed are free to remarry.
At the end of this chapter, Paul addressed widows and widowers specifically. He stated that a wife is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. She may only remarry after he dies, and even then only to a Christian man. This same standard also applies to husbands. In other words, divorce does not negate a marriage in God’s eyes. What God has joined together cannot truly be separated or undone by man. The Bible teaches that marriage is for life, and it only ends when a spouse dies. Paul added that, in his godly and respected opinion, a widowed person would be happier if they chose to remain unmarried.
Paul taught that, in accordance with God’s instruction, husbands and wives should make every attempt to stay married. The Bible clearly states that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and Scripture strongly discourages it. That said, God did give provisions that allowed for divorce in certain circumstances - not because He endorsed it, but rather because of the hardness of the human heart. Thus, it is not necessarily a sin to get a divorce, especially in serious instances such as marital infidelity or an abusive relationship. Nevertheless, Paul explained that if a person does get divorced they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse.
The overwhelming majority of passages on this issue echo exactly what Paul taught here - that remarriage, under any circumstances other than the death of the husband or wife, is an act of adultery for both parties involved. This is clearly and unambiguously confirmed in Matthew 5:32b, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, and Romans 7:2-3.
It must be noted that there is a single verse of Scripture, Matthew 19:9, that seems to suggest an exception to this rule. This verse is an outlier. It states that, “whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Many interpret this to mean that if either spouse is unfaithful, the faithful spouse is free to divorce them and remarry someone else without committing sin. However, if this is true, then all of the other previously mentioned passages on this topic are misleading and incomplete. In my opinion, based upon much study, the correct interpretation of Matthew 19:9 is that if a person is in an immoral marriage - such as a polygamous, incestuous, homosexual, or otherwise biblically illegitimate marriage - they are free to divorce and remarry. This interpretation completely reconciles with all of the other passages on this topic, it follows the sound rules of hermeneutics, and it allows for a person to free themselves from a sinful relationship and try again without committing additional sin themselves. I will be the first to acknowledge that not everyone agrees with me on this issue.
III. UNBELIEVING SPOUSES (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)
Unlike the verses that immediately preceded these, which were directions given by the LORD, Paul introduced this paragraph by indicating that this section reflected his opinion. He urged any Christians who were married to non-Christian spouses to remain with them as long as they consented to stay together. He explained that the non-believing spouse is sanctified (at least to a degree) by the believing spouse. This is especially important if the couple has children. Perhaps the presence and witness of the Christian will lead their unsaved spouse and/or children to the LORD.
That said, Paul reasoned that if the non-believing spouse was to leave the relationship, the Christian spouse was under no obligation to seek reconciliation. In such a case, divorce would be acceptable. Even still, this does not give either divorcee the grounds to remarry. No such statement is made or implied in this passage at all.
CONCLUSION
Though we’ve touched on several topics today, such as the importance of a healthy sex life within a marriage and the positive effects of a believing spouse on a non-believing spouse and their children in a marriage, I suspect that our discussion of divorce and remarriage is what stands out in your mind. This topic can be quite controversial. So as we close, I want to be clear on my interpretation of Scripture. Let me state that my stance is not mine alone, but is shared by many other Christians - albeit probably not the majority.
To be frank, I am uncomfortable with any person who has been divorced remarrying another person while their first spouse is still living. While I wouldn’t publicly condemn someone for doing so, nevertheless I can’t completely dismiss the possibility that such a marriage is sinful. Because of my uncertainty, I have made the personal choice as a pastor not to conduct wedding ceremonies so as to avoid this scenario. It is not my intention to alienate divorced people, especially fellow Christians, yet I will not deny my sincerely held convictions.
If you are listening to the message today and you have divorced and remarried, please don’t hate me. I don’t hate you. We can agree to disagree on this issue. Unlike most other issues, which are plainly black or white, there is some level of ambiguity here. We can still be friends, hang out, maintain fellowship, and worship together. All I ask is that we appreciate and respect one another’s perspective. Who knows, I could be wrong? Wouldn’t be the first time…